things happen way too fast.

i'm out of town for daddy groovy's burial.
went with mommy ange to bed cos she couldn't sleep alone.
i was asking her if she needed a massage she said no.
she's exhausted. wait. exhausted's a poor, poor word.
if you saw her, you'd know.

around 1 in the morning
me: goodnight mommy
mommy: goodnight!
me: love you
mommy: love you

before 2am
mommy: faith... gisingin mo si mommy mo masama pakiramdam ko.

i turned on the lights and saw she was perspiring as hell. i called mommy. i didn't understand what really was happening but mommy was close to tears. we changed mommy ange's clothes and assisted her downstairs. she was holding on to me. again i didn't understand what exactly was happening to her but i too had to hold on to my tears. it was scary.

before i slept, beside her, i prayed for her. that she won't have to go through a hard time adjusting on daddy groovy's absence. that she'd still feel him alive through everyone else. that she'd feel loved by us as much as she felt loved by him. the video from the presentation during daddy's 66th birthday last january kept replaying in my head. when mommy was asked for a message and she said "you're 66 and i love you even more" :-(

she's in the hospital now. it's almost 3:30. daddy's burial ceremony starts at 10 and i have an appointment at 7. i guess i'm not sleeping anymore. and i'm really, really hoping mommy's okay.